Ego

Based on my experiences with people...

day by day...

week by week...

month by month...

year by year...

I learned to build my ego...

I don't state here it's something good because that's not really the point I'm writing it here...

I always refer to the Bon Jovi song titled "Welcome To Wherever You Are"

1 of the line said, "This is your life, you made this far"

yeah...I made it this far and I'm glad.

you know what? Because of my ego...I rarely share my thoughts or even problems with my family...

I put my trust on my friends and I trust them...

1 day, when everything around me turned me down even my friends...I'm stuck!

there's a thought in my mind that I should try share it with my mother just by calling her or sms..

But just in a couple a minute, I got a msg from her!!

I nearly cry at that moment, thinking of Allah's power and the true connection between a mother and a son...

I feel guilty somehow because of other people who didn't care for me, I built my ego TOWARDS my own family...I only search for them when I needed money, not for comfort.

they see me as a happy son and brother because I NEVER showed them my true feelings....

it only showed when I'm admitted to any ward...hahahahaha.