Well, it's been 2 months I haven't update anything in this blog ya?
I've been longing to post but lately my life a little bit haywire, I need get back up.
As for today, I wanna share u what happened past few months of my life...might sound a little bit boring but at least if u're interested in knowing what's happening around me, u can get it now. :0
Hurm....but note yek my dearest follower.
I remember what my friend si J once told me that my blog used to sound sooooooooooooo weeping.
The thing I'm going to post might sound weeping but actually it's only a reminiscence of the past ya? Terima Kasih Jemi atas peringatan.
In February until last May, of which I was having a great moment, WAS....
I met a particular girl/woman...and after 6 months of swinging around I finally opened up myself to feel love n to love again.
She's 5 years older than me .....hahah crazy right?
At 1st, not on my intention at all to be with her...she's not in my priority untuk menggatal pn (of which I always do menggatal ok hahaha)
But maybe bcoz of getting too close, something sparked between us....yeah yeah
Both of us were in the downside of life...where we felt broke, even we couldn't eat much, we couldn't spend in the cinema at all.
She used to be at the very top in her life in this state now that God give her a test...
We both promise each other to slowly build our life...I will courage her n she would do the same.
We've been through things together...
On 7th May 2011 where is the exact moment where I fell for her...
On 9th May is her birthday, on 15th May my birthday I think was the 1st time I ever celebrated my birthday with someone special.
But what happened on 19th May left me clueless until now where we went to Times Square to watch Pirates Of the Caribbean...
That time I was so tired maybe (my shift ended at 11pm) so I accidentally skipped the traffic light. I got summoned by the cops...
After going back from the movies, another roadblock was there...and again I been held. I could see the stress in her face but never thought that things would go far.
Later on, things starting to change....we were not the same anymore, she's been treating differently...
Argument by argument....and last I speak to myself that "she has lost her faith in me"...no matter how much I love her, she can't return the same anymore so she gave reasons instead of truth.
I have to admit that I feel really2 hurt no matter how I tried to hide....
I feel hungry but yet I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep well....and I never thought this is happening to me.
I have to be strong...I got vision more important than her.
I told her "if the thing she did were the best, no matter how hurt I am...both of us will succeed but if she's wrong, she will feel hurt greater than what I am feeling right now"
I leave it to God...I can't simply say "I'm happy as long she's happy" which is not totally true.
Another thing is that I got several misunderstanding with Mr. Hawks....
I told him that what he did to L is the same like what A did to me...I felt the same. So I told him not to hurt 1 person that much anymore, if u got reason to do that just tell.
But u know, he will always say nothing's wrong like "xde pape la", "hohoho"....
Instead of being too paranoid, yeah...people will claim that u don't know, u don't understand...so I told him, u understand how Allah does His job. If u are right then u will be ok....IF u're not, He will show u the way...
I'm not threatening anyone, if I'm wrong I will be punished by Him also...am I right?
Remember, I tell myself life will be getting better....
Mr. Hawks is one of my best companion, genius and smart....but sometime smart screw up also right?
Ans as for her, and other girls before her....I never resolve myself in hatred. I will only remember u guys in a good memory. :)
Well bro, we're good buddies...things will happen between us from time to time.
Always tell ourselves to "stay on track"
'Good' doesn't mean we listen to each others well...
Tell ourselves "please admit my mistakes and I hope it's not too late to change"
And as for you...
I do understand I'm lack of things that u looking for which is SECURITY.
But I will get over it, I will get over u....
One day if u ever feel of turning back, I just pray it's not too late...
I will preserve my feeling in a neutral state.
TQ
It's been such a wonderful moments with u guys....
YEEEHAAAAA
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