My Love, Forgive Me...

When I was a little boy...

I used to play a lot with my younger brother...

Beside that, we also fought a lot...

Until now, I'm not sure why were w fighting for..

But when I was about 5-6 years old...

My beloved mother was pregnant for her 8th child...

You what was I feeling at that moment?

I was very2 happy until I don't what's in my mind anymore..

Everything's going up well and the baby was confirmed to be a girl..

I have always wanted a little sister and I hope she will not bring me pain like my brother did...

BUT...

1 day, when I was playing in my mother's room while she was lying on her bed...

I stepped on her thumb (kaki)...

You know that a pregnant's woman thumb is very sensitive?

So, what happen after that...my mother was having a miscarriage.

I was broken down and keep on asking my mother why was it happening..

My mother said that "takde rezeki"

But I know, it was my fault...

Knowing that at a very young age, I grew up searching for 'her' forgiveness..

I wonder if she ever question me in the after life because of my fault, she didn't have the chance to see her mother, father, sisters and brothers...

She was about 16-17 years old now...will I get the chance to see her 1 day?

I wanted to ask a forgiveness for her own brother faulty...

My Love, Forgive Me...

Sincerely, your brother..