Chronology Of Not Loving You

I sit on a bench
With a teaspoon in my mouth
My thirst has not been quenched
for hell like I'm trapped in a drought

Fuck all, I don't care anymore
But damn, I am pretending.
Fuck all, you seem not in my concern anymore
As without you I'm still standing

I walked the around the world
Just for you a long time ago
But you didn't even say a word
And expect me to let it go.

Damn it my dear
You were once a source of my happiness
As the pain inside I cannot bear
I could no more feel your tenderness

My path without you around
Is getting clearer than I expected
I feel the speed of sound
Knowing my time is not limited

In the name of my own honor
I'm not going to stain my heart with hate
For not loving you is an act of valor
I'm still off on finding a soul mate

It's not a giving up matter
Dear, you were always you
Forgiving you can be done later
Keep this, my feeling for you was always true

Forgive me that I lied
Fuck it all and you have no regrets
My beliefs were all slid
All beyond my own grasps

I'm not loving you for now
Stepping on to be a new me
I want to let you know
I'm setting you free