Student Representative Council Convenion...

Yeah...

ade crite skit ni...

aritu aku pi UTHM ade Persidangan MPP.

atas jemputan rakan baik aku dari USM, Haja Mydin.

so, sbnrnye aku menyibuk jek

aku bkn MPP pon..

dah si Haja beriya ajak lgpn UTHM dkt jek ngn hometown aku..

kt situ aku jumpe kwn aku time matrik dulu a.k.a roomate tersayang..



Ni la Malek, dulu kat matrik jd ketua blok jek...

skrg dh jd NYDP MPP Unimap maa..big shot dier skrg..

aku msih lg insan biase...sedih la konon.

susah nk jumpe diorg ni...

maklum la blaja jauh2...



yg ni la Haja Mydin...

bdk ni suke treat aku special seyh...

padahal aku br jek knal dier...mase jumpe dier kt UTHM dier siap bg aku birthday present lagi..

Baik kan?

tp aku x amik port sgt psl persidangan tuh, yg penting aku dpt jumpe kawan2 aku..

My Beloved Present From Mom..

My mom involved in crystal business...

at first, I detest her enthusiasm into crystals..

I even said words that tried to bring her down

(what a bad son am I?)

I didn't give her any support at all...

until 1 day...

she gave me a bracelet..

it's an Obsidian bracelet.

I wore it just to please her...

but eventually, I started to embrace it..



This is the Obsidian bracelet...
It's actually broken 2 times...
first time I managed to save all beads but the 2nd time I kinda short of 2 of it..
lucky at that time I'm getting thinner...

I cared for this bracelet until I was moved to support my mother to buy a crystal product from her...



This is my 2nd bracelet...Zoisite bracelet.
Actually I bought this type of bracelet for RM30...
but it broke when I had motor accident and lost it all...
(that time I managed to save my Obsidian)
Imagine that, during the accident...my main concern were not the wounds that I had, I was bleeding over my left arm but it was my crystal bracelet!!!
I bought the zoisite with my own money and it gone just like that...
DAMN..

I was "mourning" at that moment...I felt a little bit relief that I managed to save odsidian. The obsidian has more sentimental value to me maa, it's a gift from my mom!!
After a month before I went back to UiTM for a new sem..
My mom gave me the nearly exact design of zoisite bracelet...but what makes the different is the texture of the beads plus it's much more shinier!!
I started my new sem at that time with joy and proud...
(zoisite seems to believe to transform negative energy to positive, I don't care about what it brings as long I have my "pride" back)

1 day, my mom showed me another version of a zoisite...
it's called Ruby Zoisite..
this stone is a mixture of ruby stone and zoisite stone..
since it's special, the price is also special maa...
1 Ruby Zoisite bracelet priced at RM200++
WOW...damn expensive.

I keep myself quiet...

until the day of my 21st birthday,
My mom's a crystal towkey and she made a courageous attempt by offering me any crystal stone from her as a present...
ahahahahahahaha...guess what, I'm a bad man.
of what's in my mind was Ruby Zoisite.
Chingggg!!!

(tersenyap kejap my mom at that time)

I just wait..

until..



tadaa...this is my ruby zoisite bracelet!

although it's a grade A quality but still it's a ruby zoisite.

Hahahahhaaha...my mom kept her promise, that would be enough.
(actually I was testing her)

this ruby zoisite is mush tighter..

Now I have 3 gorgeous bracelet and I'm close in being a don.

muahahahaa...

(I have to arrange the position of the bracelet on my left arm, Zoisite, Obsidian and Ruby Zoisite)

I'm looking forward to have Green Phantom in my possession...maybe, next year birthday?

Perkiraan Terakhir

Kita beredar bersama
Tapi ia masih selamat tinggal
dan muke kita lompat balik
ke bumi, siapa yang tahu

Aku rase tiada siapa yang boleh dipersalahkan
Kita tinggalkan halaman
Adakan semua akan jadi sama sekali lagi?
Ini perkiraan terakhir

Kite menuju ke Zuhrah
Tapi masih kita berdiri tegak
kerana mungkin mereka dah temui kita
dan mengalu-alukan kita

dengan banyak tahun cahaya untuk ditempuhi
dan perkara untuk ditemui
Tak lama lagi kita akan merinduinya
Inilah perkiraan terakhir

Kita beredar bersama...

Kita akan sangat merinduinya

Chronology Of Not Loving You

I sit on a bench
With a teaspoon in my mouth
My thirst has not been quenched
for hell like I'm trapped in a drought

Fuck all, I don't care anymore
But damn, I am pretending.
Fuck all, you seem not in my concern anymore
As without you I'm still standing

I walked the around the world
Just for you a long time ago
But you didn't even say a word
And expect me to let it go.

Damn it my dear
You were once a source of my happiness
As the pain inside I cannot bear
I could no more feel your tenderness

My path without you around
Is getting clearer than I expected
I feel the speed of sound
Knowing my time is not limited

In the name of my own honor
I'm not going to stain my heart with hate
For not loving you is an act of valor
I'm still off on finding a soul mate

It's not a giving up matter
Dear, you were always you
Forgiving you can be done later
Keep this, my feeling for you was always true

Forgive me that I lied
Fuck it all and you have no regrets
My beliefs were all slid
All beyond my own grasps

I'm not loving you for now
Stepping on to be a new me
I want to let you know
I'm setting you free

Simple and kinda great...

I'm officially 21 years 2 days old...

all I could say..

I'm officially OLD...

Hhahahahaah....

Actually...I'm afraid of getting old.

not that I'm afraid to die or else...

I just don't like to act old you know...

My friends always scold me that I'm being childish..

I know how to act matured...because I am in fact.

It's just that I don't feel comfortable...

and I'm trapped!!!

bwaaahahah..padan muke





Very simple celebration maa...kek sedap!!



That's the cake, sedap rsenye...





yeah..this is my new appearance along with new T-shirt

Wanna know what I got for my present?

I got a car...

bwahahahahah....mimpi dlm mimpi la nk dpt keta.

bersyukur la beb, at least ade hadiah...

ade celebration pn dh cukup baik maa..

I've asked for my atuk's blessing regarding my "wish"...

just continue on praying, I believe He will help. I always believe!

The day finally come...

hello...

I'm Leo Huzair Bin Sharifudin...

proudly announce that I'm already 21..

yeah...yeah...

now,

I'm eligible to vote for election

I can go clubbing legally

I can watch pornography safely (wakakakkaa)

I can start for a serious relationship

I can choose which religion I want to believe ( in this case, I'm faithful to my present religion)

I can marry the one I love..

I can start working...

now,

my life expenses are getting higher

maybe I can't where my old shoes

my style maybe more to adult, less teenage

challenges are getting tougher..

problems are getting bigger...

I need to watch my eating behaviour

But,

Life works the way God created it..

So, beat it...

as far as I know..

I'm still the boy who loves to play video games

I'm still the one who acted childishly

I'm still the one who has perverted issues...

I'm still loving women..

I'm still single...

I still wonder whether to change it or not...

I wanna thanks for all the wishes and STILL consider me as a part of your life!!

9th May 2009

After 6 years of waiting...

finally the day for Sharene Eliana being single was over...

she's my sister, 4th sister.

The venue was at Prime City Hotel, Kluang.

I could say that I worked hard for this day to come..

I made the video presentation for that day...

I made the table menu...

I picked some of my collection of songs to be played throughout the ceremony...

Everyone of us cleaning up our home...

I had to go to the town to buy the right software...(some of the software was fake)

(but I like it)

I hadn't sleep for 2 days just to make sure my sister have the best for her wedding..

moreover I've been 'elected' to be the main photographer for her wedding..

yeah...I was worried because I'm just an amateur not yet an expert...

on that day, I was too fond with my 'job' until I forgot to have my meal...

(Got Ikan Siakap, nasi briyani, briyani daging and so on)

I'm not trying to whinge here...

hey, the last time our family's wedding was 6 years ago guys!

I was a form 3 student...I did nothing for the wedding.

the preparations needed for the wedding involved expenses

Now, I made it for my sis...

I'm the photographer, the crew, the performer even half stage manager...

everything is now made possible...because I've grown up and have the knowledge of doing this doing that...

I feel great that I contribute at least something...

My father also willing to buy me a new flash for my DSLR (luckily the board of directors didn't say anything bout it)



This me, kick start for creativity...new flash.

the only thing not great of being a photographer was...

myself not much to be seen in a picture...(at one time, I had to ask Fizy a favor to replace me taking the picture, and that time the picture that I got)

Neal was busy with his performance, wanna ask my dad...he's not too good with camera..

My sisters?? better not...they only know how to be in the picture only..

Normal digital camera maybe but not DSLR...

the ceremony ran smoothly although there were some technical problem.

(my video presentation sangkut2, aspect ratio was not perfect...x cukup skrin)

DAMN...

but, nevermind I did my very best on that video...as long as my family satisfied that would be enough for me...



This was the first picture taken, before the nikah ceremony.

there are bout 500++ pictures have been taken..I edited almost 85% of it..

I wasn't familiar using the flash before because I haven't learn..

I just follow what the guide book said...all the time, I had to experiment it myself.

(kinda hard to understand actually)



This is my 4th brother-in-law, Adrie Azrie.

now, I wonder...

how many years to come for the next wedding?




Only 3 of us left..

me, Lydia & Neal..

who's next? hahahaaaha

Well, I'm glad that everything went out very well..



this is some of the picture of me with the brides.



Neal and the gang..



"The Beatles"





"Rock and Roll. pengantin lelaki pn join...sengal gler"

Ok la...

it's always a wonderful moment in my life...

You'll never get...

Hurm...

1 of my friend said this to me in her sms....

"you'll never get any girl by this kind of attitude though"

great2...kne sumpah lg..

I'm being good and I got back-stabber, I'm being a jerk and I got a curse!!

WOW...life is great don't u think?

then what I should be? fuckers? suckers? angels?

you know what...if there's a research on erasing memory, I would gladly to volunteer..

I'm losing my faith, grip, my identity...I feel like I wanna reset EVERYTHING.

I lied to God many times (he knows it of course)

sometimes, I'm embarrassed to face him...

I'm being a fucking jerk...lucky that he's a God. He always patients.

Waaa...I'm screaming to myself.

1 of my friends also said like this...

"ko jgn ikut sgt org Leo, ikut jek ape yg ko rse btul"

he reminded me of Lukman Hakim's story with his children and a donkey...I love that story.

I seem to know all the philosophy in the world...but sad thing is I got MIXED UP!!

but why in the world I can't stick to it?

what the fuck happened to me?

I wanna RESET everything and refresh and be a VERY new me..

so that I can recollect all the knowledge and arrange it nicely and use it WISELY..

hopefully...

I glanced...

U remember the post When Love And Hate Collide?

ya...

I told u guys that I don't like to hate people..

I wasn't trying to show u that I'm angelic or noble...

I always hold to this principle

"the more u hate people, the more u're surrounded by them"

yeah..yeah...u guys pn mesti dh boring dgr kn..

actually, I wrote this post bcoz I glanced at the pictures of my love one before..

(gatal2 nk tgk, sape suruh?)

at the end, I was left with confusing momento...

their appearance in my life, always been delightful...

but am I to them?

my confusing state transform into frustration and even anger...

I was angry with myself...I felt that I didn't do good enough to leave even a mark in their life..

sometimes I even wanna scream...FUCK, FUCK and FUCK it all..

Does it become better by fucking things up?

Nope...

2 all who have a chance to know me,

am I too soft? too kind?

yeah...yeah...

is it so important to be remembered?

huh? huh?

ntah la...

tell me if u have the answer...

maybe I should turn myself into a heartless being...

if that what 'they' want...

Benda baru ni..

Hari ni..

hamba bernama Leo Huzair blaja benda baru drpd seorang kwn...

bnda ni special kot..

x ramai yg tau rsenye..

bendanya ialah

Kucing = Pusak

Anjing = Asuk.

Sekian!

Alone In The Mirror

He’s alone
Alone in the mirror
The sound of the right tones
Won’t make him clearer
He didn’t pick up the phone
Guess he never acts clever

The bright light of candle lit
That shines the darkness by its own way
His feelings won’t change a bit
As his life won’t sway
He never going to sit
In the mirror he lies as he may

The gate to heaven opens wide
But he’s trapped inside the mirror, lonely
Wish somebody could accompany him side by side
Guide him to the dream of paradise, oh lovely
The flow of time and tide
Will never wait for him, seems unexpectedly

The diary of time drags the hourglass
A simple symphony that dances the heart
His lifestyle isn’t first class
I bet him, himself full of arts
Will the rainfall grows the grass
Or make him fall hard

Alone in the mirror seems forever
Hoping for seconds to get free
What lies beyond makes him shiver
Because that was never expected to see
Breaking the mirror is never ever
Just pray hard as hard can be

When Love And Hate Collide...

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone girl, for the hundredth time
I got your number on my wall, but I ain't gonna make that call
When divided we stand babe, united we fall
Got the time got a chance gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart gonna take it
All I know, I can't fight this flame
You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby, time after time

Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I don't wanna fight no more, I don't know what we're fighting for
When we treat each other baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes
There's a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time

Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby...Crazy...Crazy
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
One night alone
Is like a year without you baby
If you have a heart at all
Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

This what I feel with some girls that I love...
I will always love them but what they did to me...

forced me to 'hate' them...

I tell myself not to hate, I always tell myself.
hating is not my way of life.

bcoz I know, the more I hate the more I'm surrounded by them...

these feeling of loving and at the same time, hating...collide together.

and I'm left with nothing!! Blur!!

some of my friends sometime pushed me to hate, they said it's the way of life..

people are created to hate each other with anything they got...they never satisfied.

I disagreed and I was mad at them (sometime I acted irrationally)

when somebody hurt you, the result you must hate them..

C'mon...what the hell was that for? total happiness? satisfaction?

what I know I must keep on trying to create a better world at ANY means...

I have some things in mind, I wished I could tell...

anyway, this is a good song...listen!

Tell yourself...

Tell to yourself...

are you indestructible?

no matter how much challenges you've faced...

you can still get back on your feet and start walking again?

are you among the best?

you wake up in the morning and knowing everything is on your side...

so you can continue smiling and enjoy the rest of the day?

are you motivated?

people keep on pushing you around and leave you behind...

you can still pretend that they part of your life lessons.

are you afraid of life?

you stumbled once and it hurt you so much...

every time you imagine it you'll have a nightmare...

are you afraid to try?

You've learned something new and it didn't quite pleased you...

you hide it in your closet and pretend not to know about it...

are you sure about your decision?

you thought it will bring you ease but it worked the other way..

you're haunted by that nearly everyday...

are you broken?

your heart smashed into pieces and nowhere to be found..

you pick every each of the pieces to make you complete again...

are you crying?

you live your life and no one noticing what you are, you bleed...

you lock yourself in your room, cover your face with pillow to release it...

are you complete?

you seem to have everything in your life and you still searching...

wondering whether you will find the missing part...


Guys, there are a lot for you to tell yourself....

I can make sure whether it's important for you but it is for me..

I'm still not sure how to answer these questions...

if it were you, how do you plan on answering it?